Hi all! How were your weekends?

This has been the first weekend in ages where we’ve not had anything planned, and after a couple of weeks of crazy work hours I couldn’t have been more excited!

I’m not great with lie ins. I feel like I’m wasting my day, and often my body clock will wake me up early, irrelevant of whether I’m still tired or not. However, this Saturday I managed to start my day with a glorious lie in – it felt so good! It was followed by food shopping and flat cleaning, and, of course, a couple of episodes of Dexter. The perfect chilled out Saturday.

Today’s been less relaxing. It got off to a great start with a beautiful run in the sunshine and an endorphin boost. But then I had to head into central London to try and find some ski clothing.


Soho Square Gardens London


Next weekend I’m heading to Austria on holiday with my boyfriend’s family for a skiing trip. I’ve never been skiing before, nor have I ever wanted to go. However the trip is for my boyfriend’s Dad’s 6oth birthday, and I know that it means a lot to my boyfriend that I go. The original plan was that I would go to group ski lessons with my boyfriend’s Mum (she’s skiied before but not for many years, so was happy to come and have beginners lessons with me). However his Mum has pulled out of the classes leaving me on my lonesome.

It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I have no issue with his Mum dropping out – I don’t want her to be doing something she doesn’t want to – but there are 2 particular issues that are freaking me out.

The first is that me and new social situations with people I don’t know still aren’t a match made in heaven . I hate it. And it’s certainly not what I’d choose to do on holiday. So group ski lessons with a bunch of strangers is pretty much the worst thing you could ask me to do.

The second is that it turns out I don’t even get to go and have lunch with the rest of the family. I get to have lunch by myself. And I sort of feel ostracised. I don’t whether it’s a weird FOMO feeling or what, but when I’m trying to make an effort with the family, the idea of them all meeting up without me makes me feel rejected and sick. I know in reality that this is a complete overreaction (they haven’t done it on purpose!) but I can’t get that feeling out of my head.

On top of that there’s the extortionate cost (and I’m not even paying for everything!), the posh culture that accompanies skiing (I am anything but posh) and the copious amounts of cheese and bread and cheese and bread and cheese and bread. The actual skiing is the thing I’m LEAST worried about, yet is probably the most dangerous aspect!

In fact, can we just take a second to  appreciate how ridiculous skiing is?! Claudia Winkleman did an excellent summary of why skiing is a crazy thing to do on Room 101 recently. Check it out if you have half an hour – not only is it hilarious, but it  pretty much sums up my opinion of skiing, But essentially you pay an insane amount of money to go and do what is pretty much a solitary sport (or if you can’t ski you get shipped off to ski lessons where you’re forced to make small talk with people you did not ask to meet, away from the people you chose to go on holiday with), and then when you are all together you drink copious amounts of alcohol, which not only is 5 x more expensive than anywhere else on Earth, but means the next morning you cant remember the only time you spent with the people you chose to come on holiday with. What exactly in this sounds fun?! For me the main reason of going on holiday is to share a new experience with loved ones…not avoiding them. But then this isn’t my holiday, so I’ll quit complaining. And skiing is a popular activity, so I should hold judgement until I’ve tried it.

I know what I’ve just said is a comically extreme take on skiing, but the trip is creating an insane amount of stress. All my IBS issues have come back, and I feel constantly stressed and unhappy. And that makes me feel guilty because my boyfriend is super excited for going skiing, and I’m putting a massive downer on everything (as much as I try and hide my stress it’s pretty obvious). This week I ordered a bunch of ski clothes and when they arrived nothing fit. Everything was too small (I’d even bought clothes in the size above mine). It was pretty stressful (I don’t think it’s just people with eating disorders that hate finding they can’t fit in to their usual clothes size…even though we all know that clothes sizes vary massively between brands). Hence my trip into Central London today. I went into a total of 6 shops and managed  to buy nothing. They either didn’t have ski clothing instore, only had sizes that were too small, or were 4 times the price of what I could afford.

It all got too much and whilst on the phone wishing my Mum a Happy Mother’s Day in the middle of Piccadilly Circus I broke down into floods of tears (there’s no better way to say Happy Mother’s Day than with floods of tears…). So its back to internet shopping and hoping that something I’ve ordered will fit properly ready for next weekend.

In the meantime I’m practising superhuman amounts of mindfulness to try and calm me down, and am trying to generally calm the f*** down. I mean, I’m getting stressed about a HOLIDAY! First world problems, eh!  Things can’t always go the way we want, and  I’m hoping that in a week and a half I’ll be able to tell you that actually I’m loving skiing and it’s the best thing ever (or just bearable would do).

The main thing is that my boyfriend’s family have the perfect celebration, and if that’s achieved then it will be worth it!

Sorry it’s been such a wordy post today with no photos. This was my only other photo from the weekend: I did my usual thing of bumping into a full on protest in Central London today. This one was against the Turkish fighting against Kurds and spanned a good part of Refent Street which was pretty impressive


London protest

Have you ever been skiing? What’s your top skiing tip?


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