On Friday I talked about how my monthly resolutions for my body image project are going. Alongside my body image project I also made a New Year’s resolution to smile. I’m already finding this is causing some serious negativity for me! The aim was to try and see the positives in difficult situations, and also to smile at people more – to take time for conversation and be more friendly.
The first is something I have to constantly think about as I very easily fall in to “woe is me” type thinking (despite it being a personality characteristic I hate)! And self pity appears to be a hobby of mine… However, when I make the effort and take 5 minutes out of my day to try and reframe my thinking about my situation it can really make a difference, even reducing my anxiety levels. It’s clearly an area which I need to focus on more to properly reap the benefits from.
As for smiling at people more…This is sooo hard for me! Not because I don’t like people, but because I find it easier to hide away from people. Conversation can be hard thing for me and I always feel like I’m failing miserably at it! So my default setting is to frown and avoid people.
I’ve been feeling like it’s taking me ages to settle in at work and the last couple of weeks I’ve realised that the reason for that is that I’ve not done the best job at building friendships or relationships at work. As I said, it’s easier for me to only speak to people when necessary for work rather than indulge in prolonged conversation people. Is this the kind of person I want to be? No! Do I like myself for it? No! And I’m the only one who can change my behaviour.
Sure, you’re more vulnerable when you’re interacting with other people but it can also bring the best feelings of happiness and community.
The last week I’ve really been focusing on smiling at people when I walk past their desk and am trying to have a conversation where possible. Sure that’s led to some embarrassing face palm moments when my conversation skills have been far from stellar, but it’s also resulted in some moments where I’ve wanted to fist pump cos I CAN DO THIS! I’ve still got a long way to go but I’m hoping that practice (and practice and practice) will make perfect!